One Day At The Park...

            Some years back, after my youngest had been born but my oldest had not turned ten yet, I decided to take my children to the playground. It was a lovely day and we all needed the fresh air. I packed up the stroller, the diaper bag, the playground toys, the snacks, the waters - anything and everything we might need for the next hour and a half - and got all my little kiddos dressed and in shoes. The playground was a literal seven minute walk from our house but forgetting something would still mean that play time was over for everyone; we would have to leave and once we left we wouldn’t get to come back so I wasn't taking any chances. 

         I felt rather proud of myself for having the presence of mind to get everything in order and all of us out the door without any breakdowns or arguments. My children get along with each other very well on most occasions but they are still humans and siblings so rarely did one day pass without incident. The weather was perfect, the air was invigorating and I was feeling good about myself until we got to the actual park and I realized what I had forgotten… I had forgotten how to socialize with other adults.

          On most weekdays, around 11am, the playgrounds are fairly empty (what with most children over 5 being in school). My family was the only one in the neighborhood who homeschooled so, unless we invited friends to join us, we got the park pretty much to ourselves. There were, sometimes, moms or nannies with children too young for kindergarten and this day was one of those days. There was a mom there with a baby about the same age as my next-to-youngest child. We both put our babies in the baby swings and this is when my brain totally fell apart. 

           I thought in my head, “I should say hi. I should make a friend. I’m Always telling my kids to make friends on the playground.” But I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember how it’s done! I couldn’t think of anything to say for the longest, most awkward time. Then I realized she had a baby like mine and I blurted out “What’s it named?!?” and I smiled in a way that I hope wasn’t creepy (but I'm not confident about that). Then it got super quiet again. For a long time. She may or may not have told me her child’s name. Then I took my kid and walked away.

As you may have guessed, she and I did not become besties.

            What is the moral of my little piece of embarrassing honesty? I want you to know that it is OK - that You will be OK - because all of us (particularly moms, even more particularly homeschool moms) loose our brains in public and forget how to be people around other people. So that lady and I didn't hit it off - so what? It’s not like that was my only hope of ever having a friend. It’s not like I ever even saw her again! It's also not like she never made herself look like a crazy person (and if she hasn’t yet, she will… I did say she had a baby so her days are numbered).

           We, here at The Adventure Letters, are moms still very much in the world of "where's my brain" and "I'm so embarrassed".  That day at the play ground was not the first (and I'm sure will not be the last) time I have forgotten how to interact with people over the age on 20. Fortunately, there are so many wonderful and understanding people in our community of moms and homeschoolers that I can still say I have some really good friends and a great support system. 

          I guess I’m just saying “take a breath, it’s gonna be fine, we are all on this crazy ride together!